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madame
hi there, this is me, the owner, CADEN YAP a.k.a the singapore no.1 bastard
birthday falls on 24th MARCH every year


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Saturday, December 17, 2005 7:47 PM
things does not always go our way. we need to be able to think of different ways. things have ended up in this way, in a way that i never thought it will. i had always think the positive side, but this time, too bad for me, it's the negative side. no point asking myself what's wrong. but it's time for some actions to be done. my heart is really very slow in accepting cruel facts. this song, that's why you go away, i used to give this song to another person, but now, it's all you liao. lols. you are the first one, who make me get so serious in this kind of relationship. sigh. i should not be thinking so much, but i cannot help. because i just find that, we are getting further and further liao. i cannot take it. i do not know why.

this few days, i had gone back to the starting. lols. i'm running in the wrong direction. and guess what, my computer hanged just now, and again i lost all the datas. is it really because i switched on my computer for all day long, except occasionally when i go out, i just let it sleep. lols. perhaps that's the reason why it is always hanged and i cannot download stuff. haha. guess i will sleep tomorrow morning again. just finished my coffee. lols. today got shows. yeah! can watch til siao. but it start so early. means, i cannot buy Mac to eat while enjoying liao. sigh. nbm. i shall repeat what i did yesterday. haha. thanks DAD. for not switching off the air-con when i'm sleeping. i slept on the sofa yesterday. thinking through my life. lols, but that's another issue. yea..back to topic. i'm not supposed to do so, because, my dad had switched on his air-con in his room liao, so i can only switched on mine which is in my room. hahas. but mine was dripping water. that's why, i slept on the sofa. tonight will be the same. i will sleep in the morning i guess.

whee. tomorrow going to church. yeah. and mon, having band practice for the performance on 25th december. sigh. very tiring, but to prove Mr Chew wrong, i will force myself to go. that day, will be the day, we can prove our strength together as YTWO. please, i beg you guys, don't let him down.

suddenly, i just felt that i'm born into this world, not having any common knowlegde. i'm serious. that's why, i trust in the Lord, i trust that He gave me life, and He can just take it away. how i wish He could just take it away now. i no longer have the strength to live on. i'm feeling very lost now, and i have to forget about certain things. i cannot do it. i will pull myself through. no matter how much my tears had gone, i will remind myself, He is the one i'm living for. not many people can help me now, they had done their best, it's all up to me. my choice. one sorry is enough for me, i do not want to repeat it to You, just like nobody business. i will give You a sincere, deep from the bottom of my heart.

going to turn back anytime i cannot take it. i will convince myself to let you go. don't think too much.